The Separation Fix Podcast Separation Divorce Coach byron bay

Someone asked me to explain “win-win coaching”, so I thought I could help by giving you an example.

A full-time stay at home mum, or mum working part-time in an unsatisfying job, may come to coaching struggling to decide “should I stay or should I go”. But it becomes apparent during the coaching that her dissatisfaction with her partner is partly based on having little time to pursue her own interests, develop skills or career.

Coaching with the client-mum may lead to a goal which aligns with her struggle, such as, “I want my partner to be supportive of my dreams and show this in practical ways.” The pursuit of the goal may lead to enough changes that the relationship dynamic begins to change and improve.

But even if this goal is not reached, there is still a “win” with many positives:

  • Actions for this mum are likely to include improving communication and reducing reactivity. Working on these skills, even if the partner does not respond as hoped, will almost certainly improve separation particularly co-parenting;
  • Actions may include developing a plan for a business idea. This will almost certainly involve financial planning and budgeting improving the client-mum’s financial literacy – something which can be neglected due to the division of responsibilities which can happen with the arrival of children; and
  • Actions may include up-skilling which can improve confidence, emotional well-being and community connections not to mention longer-term career opportunities.

That’s why I call “should I stay or should I go” coaching, win-win coaching.