Stay ‘n Thrive, Go or Wait Smart

What an awful time you are having – the ruminations, over and over again, are exhausting and it’s so confusing .… It’s totally normal to feel this way but you can drive yourself crazy when you can’t make a decision. Endless thoughts such as “have I tried hard enough?”, “will the kids be okay?”, “would it be better if I waited?”. There’s also a chance that you are simply “over it”, exhausted and putting your dilemma in the “too hard basket”.

I know that this decision, especially if you have children, is one of the most significant decisions of your life.  It may even be the most significant decision of your life.

But it’s so difficult to make good decisions when you're emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted. It’s almost too much to expect that you will be in the right mind-set to do a 360° assessment of your situation, be able to make well-informed decisions and then communicate what you want for yourself and those you love.

So, coaching begins with a focus on your well-being and supporting you to be your best-self. Throughout coaching, this will be a touchstone. I then work with you to determine your goals from which practical strategies and actions will follow. This includes:

  • Access to quality information and resources;
  • Support to make well-informed choices and avoid unnecessary mistakes;
  • Setting goals and strategies based on your particular circumstances;
  • Taking the actions necessary to meet your goals; and
  • Supporting you to make the best possible decisions for your future based on your particular needs, concerns and interests.


pre separation should i stay or should i go times are tough we are fighting

The goals of coaching are as unique as the clients themselves. Your goal might be:

  • “To find emotional connection and change the course of my relationship”;
  • “To do what is reasonably possible to save my relationship”;
  • “To find out what my life look could look like if I decided to leave this relationship”;
  • “What can be done, before I separate, so my children can continue to thrive.''


Knowing you have done your best to save your relationship is a gift to your future self and is incredibly reassuring:

  • In the short term, especially when you have to talk to your children about separation, you want to know that you did what you could to make the relationship work;
  • In the medium term, as you go through the often-demanding experience of negotiating parenting, financial matters and finding a new “normal,'' you want to be as confident as you can be about your choice; and
  • In the long-term, you don’t want your future-self to look back and ask “Did I do the right thing? Could I have done more?”


I truly believe that having a loving and supportive partner is one of life’s blessings. And if you are not certain about the decision, it is worth taking steps to do what is reasonably possible to “save” the relationship. 

Coaching works on your best self, whether that ends up being within the relationship or preparing for life after the relationship, it’s “win-win” coaching.

For my coaching package click here